growing up and old.

At this moment of my life, I'm really in horror.
The horror of thinking about my future.

Thinking about my lifetime dream.
Thinking about the mental block that I'm having now

When people life was driven by money, it always take a pause to make a decision.
knowing that I can no longer be that reckless girl who used to follow my heart and my head.
without fully utilize any of it.




Knowing that now I have to take care of myself. I can't rely on anyone. Only myself. So I need to be able to take charge of myself.
Make me scared!
IF something when wrong, who can I rely on?

I always admire people who dare to change their life path later in their life. Knowing that the later you make that decision, the more baggage you going to carry with you.

if I can change my OWN LIFE. I decide to be hapy. Be Happy with what I have. Be grateful.

Eventhough sometimes I feel miserable. Me being a teacher, but can't handle my own class. Missing that fun of teaching. Stress myself out by thinking about those kids.
Sometimes I pity them,  But what can I do if they don't want to change.

Need a lot of courage to be here now.
Need to be strong for myself.

the hardest part of growing up is growing up.