17 September 2015

7th Anniversary

Happy Anniversary to my beloved blog.
You know that you are my special space.
Space where I keep to myself and space where I share with people.
dear blog, only know how many post that I keep as draft and only we can read it.
only you know my deepest secret, my ugly side of myself. my afford to be better.

Happy 7th Anniversary.

you keep me company through my high and down.
tq. and I would like to dedicate this song for you.

A white ice flower that bloomed
Puts its face out in the welcoming wind
It sheds tears over the wordless and nameless past
Hiding in the cold wind
Melting down under the single ray of sunlight
That’s how you came to me once more
Only good memories, only a longing heart
On the path where you left me
I’m standing alone
Only until I can forget you, until I will be alright
I’ll swallow my tears and at the end of my wait
I will bloom once again
Love is a fiery flower that blooms and withers
In case I get wet with the rain, I close my eyes
In my youth and small heart
The dazzling memories shine
I call out to you once again
Only good memories, only a longing heart
On the path where you left me
I’m standing alone
Only until I can forget you, until I will be alright
I’ll swallow my tears and at the end of my wait
Then once again, I will
On top of the dry land
My entire body is burning
Your scent that remained on my fingers is scattering away
Your hand that is growing far apart
I can’t hold onto it so it hurts
Just until I can survive, just as much as I hated you
When the spring comes to bring you back later on
Then I will bloom on that day
In my personal life, there are moment that make me think that I don't want to move forward and I don't even to be anywhere at the moment. Just exclude myself from the world seem like the best option that I have. but I know that the storm that come in my life just the matter to wash away my sin and to help me to grow stronger and be better. In the end there is only good memories and a longing heart that left with me. even though I'm standing here alone,I know I will be alright and I will swallow my tears and pains and once again I will be just fine. 
sometimes, we want to depend on people just too much and we don't trust our ability to heal and be strong on our own. being alone doesn't mean you are weak and fragile but you are strong enough to stand on your own. tq Allah for always be there for me and I know that I never am a good servant to You, but oh Allah you never let go of my hand. I'm alone but forever under your protection. 
that tear that he shed at the end of that song is something that is very meaningful and that is something I still not be able to it on my own. tear of overcoming my own weakness.
I'm sorry for my child-like mind and writing. 

enjoy the song and of course the meaningful lyric

10 September 2015

Bisikkan pada hati

Bisik pada hati, kamu kuat
Kuat saat yang lain menguji
Bisik pada hati, kamu percaya
Percaya tika yang lain tinggalkan
Bisik pada Hati, kamu Indah
Indah saat yang lain memandang jelek.
Bisik pada hati, usah menangis
Usah menangis kerna tiada yang peduli
Bisik pada hati usah kecewa,
Usah kecewa kerana setiap sesuatu ada hikmahnya
Bisik pada hati, tak apa sendiri.
tak apa sendiri kerna Aku hamba bertuhan
Allah tahu capacity hati itu,
Setakat mana mampu mu
Setakat mana Kuat mu
setakat mana mampu bertahan.
semua rasa itu buat hati jadi lebih kuat dan tabah
semua rasa itu buat hati jadi matang dan mengerti

p/s: catatan yang tercatat pada tahun 2014

5 September 2015

IF and What if

if is such a poisonous word.
if keep dragging us back to the past where it hold nothing for our future
it is "was" not "will"
as we regret something from our past, we always come out with if solution. hoping for something hopeless. after every deed we always have this doubt of "if"thinking that we might be able to do better or choosing on a better option.  still no matter how hard we give ourselves another option, nothing going to change.
"what ifs"
"what ifs"
"what ifs"
looking forward to the future, knowing that we have the power to choose,
that question keep on popping up. of the uncertainty of what might happen.
what if I fail?
what if I get hurt?
what if I there is someone better?
what if I don't like what I do later?

“Every choice in life sets us on a different path and carries its own set of “what ifs” and consequences that we could worry about, but what’s the use? Rather than plaguing our thoughts with the unknown, we should focus on and accept only what we do know – and all we know is the path we’re currently on.” 
making the decision about our future is full of uncertainty and to choose again for the past is full of regret. what define life is now, and making the move to be better at the very moment. 

what shine the most is now!!