24 May 2015

Book Review: Why I still Carry A Guitar

A meaningful birthday present.

Actually I asked her to help me to buy this book. This book already been on my wish list for quite a while. I been asking everyone to buy it for me, but none respond to my request. As you know Terengganu is one of state where it is quite difficult to get a good book especially English book. Then I heard the news that Yusuf Islam is coming to Malaysia to promote this book. I was super excited but very sad because I can't attend the event. With her help I manage to get the book and with the official autograph too. SubhanAllah. So happy and excited to read the book. After she posted the book, she said that she wanted to give me the book as my birthday present. Speechless and too happy. 

So after two weeks of waiting, finally I received the parcel too eager to read it. However I don't get a chance to read it because of too much work and I was quite depress. Alhamdulillah, today Allah arrange me to attend a course in KL which a hate it very much, but the good side to this, I got a proper chance to read this book. Alhamdulillah after a long 7 hours in the bus, I finally finish the book.
The moment I finished the book, it left in in awe.

The Spiritual Journey of Cat Stevens to Yusuf "Why I still carry a guitar"
By: Yusuf Islam
A glimpse of Journey from a famous singer song writer to a Muslim. Facing the judgemental society that keep on misunderstand and judging people from the cover. The things I respect from this man is the way he revert to Islam is through studying Quran and without having any muslim friends and family to teach or encourage him toward Islam. It's only between He and His Maker and The Book of guidance. It is true that Hidayah is belong to Allah. He can choose anyone he want to and in anyway He prefer.
Points I got from his journey, is learning and keep on learning. At some point through this book, I feel ashamed of myself, If I have to compare between me and Him, it is nothing because I was born as a Muslim, and I don't feel the urge to study more and I just apply to the basic knowledge that I know. But this man even go through the different school of Fiqh in order to understand the questions that everyone saying that it was Haram which is Music. The conclusion he make to pick up his guitar again was not through what people said but through research and understanding of Islam.
We as a Muslim, sometimes in life, the Ibadah and the ideas we hold a solely based on the saying and what we heard from others without knowing the based to that fact.  The culture of learning in our society is very lack. In fact, if people saying bad thing or something wrong about our religion, mostly we only debate with them with emotion and not the proper faculty of knowledge.

18 May 2015

Happy Teacher Day

Rebellious who become a teacher.
10 months and 18 days.
A long journey that never failed to teach me a lesson of life.
facing all sort of challenges and difficulties really help me to grow up.
the journey that is full of happiness and sorrow.
Alhamdulillah, I'm still able to hold my head up.
Even though there are times that I'm feeling like giving up.
The reward that Allah promise for those who work really hard in this field are far worth it.
My younger brother once said to me, If Allah gives you a chance to gain reward why do you want to turn it down. Because the journey is hard, that mean there are greater reward waiting for you.
Only Allah can help me to be stronger to face what ever may come.
Sometimes there are no word I can use to describe my feeling, just tear.
Too tired to say anything.
still, I understand that what I'm facing right now are nothing woth compare to what the senior teachers have gone through. Their years of working and teaching are really admiring.
This is my third year celebrating teacher day. first time was in 2013 as a trainee teacher in Jalan 3 Bangi. I didn't get a chance to even watch the performance or even attend the assembly because all 3 of us, the trainee teachers need to handle students examination. But the students were very supportive. My second time celebrating Teacher day was in 2014 when I was a substitute teacher in Sk Duyong, that was weird because I received so many presents. My car almost full and I'm not the kind of person who usually received a gift. I was afraid to accept all those gift because I know my students come from various background.
This year, I celebrated teacher day as a junior teacher. And it was the most tiring teacher day ever. I never thought that people would trust me that much to make sure that we had a successful celebration. I didn't felt like a teacher, I felt like I'm just another students celebrating my own teachers, trying to fulfil their wishes and expectation even though I'm really not good at it. I'm lucky to have Fatihah and Kak Hajar who are really supportive and helpful. Without them I'm lost.
Thanks to both of you. Handling Pengawas, Sukaneka and Performance at the same time was tough.
But after receiving pretty good respond, everything felt worth it. With a simple thank you it felt like... wow, I don't even found a proper word to describe it. Yes, I admit that not everyone satisfied with it, but I know I already tried my best. I hope you, and you and you are okay with it. I'm just a nobody.

Happy Teacher Day everyone, I know everyone have their own struggles and challenges. We are chosen to be in this career, stand up and grow stronger. May Allah rewards all the teacher out there with a lot of patient and strange. Teachers, we are the guidance, we are the awakener.

The teacher is the one who gets the most out of the lessons, and the true teacher is the learner.

 Sedap tak?? :)

 My 3 cendikiawan, ni je yang hadir. Tq surprise cake ni..:)

 Backbone teacher day SmkBT.. Memang osem

I'm lucky to have you dear.. mau pengsan if I don't have you by my side dik oiii !

As a teacher I never ask them for any gift. Aku hanya ingin menumpang sedikit kasih dan mahukan mereka berjaya dunia akhirat. Cukuplah mereka berjaya. InsyaALLAH

15 May 2015

Everyone Definition of Happiness

Everyone have their own life, we can't decide it for them, let them choose it on their own. No matter how close you are to your friend, remember that they still need their own space. That doesn't mean that you want to walk out from their life, it just that you have to trust them enough. 

You have to understand that when people want to be alone and avoiding people doesn't mean that she hate you, she just trying to be herself. We need to be happy for ourselves and themselves.

By the way, this past week was very hectic. almost cry and my mama, abah, and maklah have started to ask me to further my study after they heard about the latest task I got from school which are, AJK for PIBG(PTA) and Ajk for Staff club. with my current workload it is pretty hard since I'm a very junior teacher... Still I have to be positive, if not I'm going to be in a dark depression. 

I have to try my best because I want to keep on doing this as part of my growing up experience. I believe that living is just a journey for us to keep learning and collecting as many lesson as possible. Very hard and now I will try to find some points to achieve my own satisfaction or else I will never be happy.
Been happy doesn't mean that I have everything I want, but enough and grateful. I wanna be happy not sad and depress.  So I take a rest, trying not to think about my problem and of course I'm lucky enough to have her as my friend.
We sit together and start pouring our heart then just sit next to each other. It is more than enough. :)
we both have nothing more to offer except our sincerity. I hope this will last forever. InsyaALLAH

"Frugality is one of the most beautiful and joyful words in the English language, and yet one that we are culturally cut off from understanding and enjoying. The consumption society has made us feel that happiness lies in having things, and has failed to teach us the happiness of not having things."
                                                                                                             Elise Boulding

sitting there and smiling and talking and in silent just mean the world to me

be happy by being simple

our long journey

our friendship

12 May 2015

Book Review: The Last song

Another story by Nicholas Spark

He is the kind of writer who write something close to everyone heart which is family.
Compare to his other book that I have read, this one took me quite a while since I started it to get me hook up with it. But when I get to the middle part of the story, I start to feel Nic Spark charm once again.
Family is everybody most important elements of life.
Whether you have it or even they are no longer with you
come what may
family is always a family.

Seventeen year-old Veronica “Ronnie” Miller’s life was turned upside-down when her parents divorced and her father moved from New York City to Wilmington, North Carolina. Three years later, she remains angry and alienated from her parents, especially her father… until her mother decides it would be in everyone’s best interest if she spent the summer in Wilmington with him. Ronnie’s father, a former concert pianist and teacher, is living a quiet life in the beach town, immersed in creating a work of art that will become the centerpiece of a local church. The tale that unfolds is an unforgettable story about love in its myriad forms – first love, the love between parents and children – that demonstrates, as only a Nicholas Sparks novel can, the many ways that deeply felt relationships can break our hearts… and heal them.

“Life, he realized, was much like a song. In the beginning there is mystery, in the end there is confirmation, but it’s in the middle where all the emotion resides to make the whole thing worthwhile.”
the special bonding between Ronnie and her dad was piano. But when she felt betrayed by her father, she quit and hate it as much as possible. 

One thing I realize when I read this novel, when we have problem, we tend to blame someone. We want to see that we are the victim. People supposed to understand us. Everyone else are at fault.

But if we take time to think and observe, we are not the only person who are in pain, people around us are also hurt and coping in their own one.

Things that I liked about Ronnie is, her ability to think and consider how far she want to get into when try to get into trouble but when she get mad, that ability to rationalise just vanish into a thin air. And blame it on everything else. 

Nic Spark really know how to hit our tears point using the father figure, I admit that the succeed that on me. Beautiful story about family, love,friendship, unconditional love and faith.

I also learn that he wrote the screenplay for the movie first before he started this novel. Well I never watch the full movie yet coz I'm not really fond to Miley Cyrus. Some said that the movie was really good. Well I'm not so sure about that.  You read and watch the movie, then you decide.

Ke hulu ke hilir ku bawak buku ni, 3 minggu baru dapat habis

bedtime story yang bahaya, sampai part best memang tak boleh berhenti

9 May 2015

help me keep this!

Each of us born with create our own legacy.
Because we are born to be special.
yes, sometimes we loss our ways
when we are trying
we stumble, we fall
still our biggest quality is to heal.
to be able to get up again.
the problems we face know is
afraid of trying.
that what I;m facing right now.
people trying to trust me with some responsibilities
that I know I can't face it right now.
I have to admit that I'm not really good at handling pressure.
Lately, I bit lost of my self confidence.
sometimes, I'm just tired for no reason.
Tears can flow without any big reasons.

I miss my old self.
the bold, the confidence, the outlaw.
I know, tonight I have disappointed their trust.
I didn't mean it.
I'm just not ready yet.
I'm asking for some space.
please give me some.
I don't mean to avoid this,
I'm just not ready for it.
I'm sorry for my wrong doing and my misbehave.

only Allah can help me to ease my bewail heart.
please try to understand me.
I don't know how to say what I'm feeling right

I want to be a better me.
just give me a chance to get on my foot again.
currently am stumbling in this wave of emotion and situation.
if you read this, please don't get angry with me.
please bear with my current condition.
InsyaAllah I will come back.

Wa wa jadaka daal lan fahada— And He found you lost and guided [you].
How many of us, despite being born Muslims, have found ourselves misguided and straying away from Islam in the past? It was Allah who gave us that hidaya and brought us back to the straight path and to Him and made us practising Muslims.InsyaALLAH
Including me!c

5 May 2015

Rasa itu.. perlu dididik.

Semua orang dilahirkan dengan rasa
dididik dengan perasaan.
Mengerti kalau kau punya rasa dan perasaan itu,
namun mengawal rasa dan perasaan itu perlu dan wajib
jangan sampai nampak enteng pada mata manusia apatah lagi pandangan tuhan
hai anak gadis,
aku juga seperti kamu,
namun belajarlah,
pacu rasa itu pada arah yang betul,
duduk bertimpuh bersebelahan
bergurau senda
bertepuk tampar
berbicara sampai lebih dari keperluan
mungkin pada kamu hanya seronok
tapi si gadis
kamu itu manis
kamu itu ada agama
tundukkanlah pandangan mu
selimutlah hati mu
lindungi aurat mu
kerana kamu si gadis manis
tuhan itu sentiasa menjaga mu
jangan sampai tingkah mu mengundang murka
si gadis,
jagalah hatimu, pandangan mu dan agama mu
tiada apa yang mampu mengundang bahagia akhirat
selain amal dan akhlak mu.
sayang ingatlah, kita punya agama
dan pasti ada batas yang perlu dipatuhi.
ingatan ini juga untuk aku.

p/s: menjadi si cikgu, sentiasa menegur buatkan aku bukan cikgu yang sporting. tak juga digemari. tapi dari itu, lebih baik dari membiarkan terus leka. aku tak mahu bersubahat dengan dosa itu. dosa ku sendiri dah tak tertanggung. kita duduk kat dunia ni nak kutip bekal je. kalau korang terus lalai, korang kutip dosa, kalau aku tak tegur aku pon berdosa. pemandangan kurang indah di hari sukan.

cabaran mendidik pada aku yang masih belajar. 

cabaran mendidik aku dan mereka jadi manusia beragama.

semoga esok lebih baik.

4 May 2015

Live and Live it Well

Now I got today to live
and I'm going to live it well.
I'm gonna try things
I gonna learn more
I gonna be there
I gonna LIVE it to the Fullest

So here I go with an open heart
scared of nothing
not afraid of losing
and now my life's start

I know you anxious for my boldness
it rough for your big heart,
that your little girl just walked out there
she's gone and she's just fly
it's time for you to see
that little girl is me
and I just ain't that little anymore.

I'm gonna try things
I gonna learn more
I gonna be there
I gonna LIVE it to the Fullest

I wanna be bold
I wanna be courage
cause I want something new to give
no rights or wrongs from now on,
mistakes are how I learn
Now I got today to live
and I gonna LIVE it to the fullest.
Live and live it well

of course, reading is the basic part living

adapt from: Rachel Faith- Start. just adding bits of my version

3 May 2015

recipe: Roti Canai Sambal Ikan

ohh my!
its May already.

long busy weekend!
cooking, eating, school activities.
and bits of books.
ahad baru free, so barulah sempat update blog.

so today I want to share this sacred recipe from my late grandma.
aritu, my brother asks me to cook something for him to sell at the carfood sale,
so we decide to make this.

this is Roti Canai Sambal Ikan Recipe Tok.


untuk doh roti canai:
1 kg tepung gandum
1 sudu besar garam
15 g minyak sapi
50g planta cair
1 biji telur
30 g susu manis
50 gm susu cair
500ml-550ml air

masuk semua bahan kecuali air, uli dulu sampai rata, baru masukkan air sedikit demi sedikit sampai doh tu jadi something that you can work on, uli sampai rata, biasanya sampai doh tu dah tak melekat kat tangan. rehat dalam 5 minit sebelum jadikan  doh tu bebola kecil.. untuk recipe ni, kira boleh jadikan 25-30 biji roti canai. teknik uli bebola kecil tu, tolak masuk ke dalam sampai luar tu jadi licin. then salut dengan planta and minyak  sampai nampak macam doh dkt kedai tu la.
rehat sekurang-kurangnya 1 jam- 1 jam setengah.. kalau tak memang tak boleh nak buka aka tebar.
teknik tebar tu tak pandai nak ajar coz kak tebar cara atas dulang je, kalau rajin nanti kakak buat video.

1 kg ikan selayang
250 ml santan
bawang besar 4-5 labu
garam gula secukup rasa

rebus dulu ikan dengan masukkan sedikit garam dan sekeping asam keping. perisikan ikan make sure no tulang at all. masukkan bawng yang di mayang, gula, garam n santan. recipe tok inti dia agak manis tp still balance dengan garam.. Tok dah tak masak dah inti tu. sebab kira masak nanti skali dalam roti canai. kalau tak inti akan jadi kering sangat.tak best.

kaedah seterusnya sama macam buat murtabak biasa. except without telur.

this recipe is one of her favourite.
please pray for her,
Al-fatihah tok.
I really miss you,
Thanks to you I get into cooking after all.
All her wise word and recipe, InsyaAllah I will keep it forever.

Biasanya tok makan without any kuah pun.

my favourite.

p/s: kalau mengaku orang terengganu please at least belajar macam mana nak perisi ikan ye. aritu mama ada belikan laksa kuah putih, langsung tak boleh nak makan sebab tahap tulangnya memang boleh membunuh.