I cry

بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمٰنِ الرَّحِيْمِ  

In the name of Allah, the most Gracious, the most Merciful 

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"Heavy hearts, like heavy clouds in the sky, are best relieved by the letting of a little water."
Antoine Rivarol

I always cry when I see something that touch my heart.
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I cry when I see elderly get mistreated.
I cry when people hit a homeless cat
I cry when I hear others sad story.
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But I hate crying about myself.
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I always tell myself that I'm not the girly type who need to cry.
My tough personality shouldn't be ruin by my tears.
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As I grow older, if I feel sad or at the low point of my life,I always feel that my emotion lump in my throat.
Then I need something to help me to channel my emotion.
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I always watch the saddest movie I can find or any novel to help me to cry.
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That's how I trick my mind telling that I'm not crying because of me, but I'm crying because of the movies or the book.
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I keep lying to myself that I should not let myself down.
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If I cry because of myself, I'm weak.
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But then, I realized that I'm a creature of emotion.
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No matter how tough I try to act,
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My emotion is part of me.
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I shouldn't define myself by my tears.
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It's okay to cry.
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I'm not weak but stronger.
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Last night, I don't know how to say, but the moment everyone else were sleeping, my surrounding slowly become very quite.
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I felt like something stir my emotion.
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I was sleeping in tears.
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This morning I wake up, and I can still feel the sadness linger in  my emotion.
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The whole day, everything make me sad.
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Is this normal?
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I pick up a book, somehow every chapter seems very close to my heart.
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I can relate to her loneliness and how pathetic she feels about herself.
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Is this normal?
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But I hope this just a normal phase for myself.
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To learn to accept a few hard facts about myself.
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Especially at my age.
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I hope that all the crying today just part of my self care routine.
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I heard that crying help you to bound back from the slump of emotion.
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Hopefully tomorrow I will wake up feeling better and happier. InsyaAllah.